i cannot quite comprehend the reasons why i am experiencing certain things in my life right now. but at the same time, i really couldn't blame anyone but myself for getting into such "troubles" and "stresses". after all, it was my choice. for the past few weeks, there had been a lot of those days when i just hoped not to wake-up one morning. dead? that's just waaaaaaay too morbid. i was wondering, "how will it ever feel like when you won't think about the day ahead of you?"
the certain struggles i am facing right now are very different and more complicated than before. i guess the only question wherein these are all rooted is, "i've been trying to be the best person for you. i even committed myself for your love. YET, why do you put me in these situations? why give me these problems? do i deserve this?" these questions are for GOD.
with these questions continuously stirring in my mind, i opted to finally listen. i read the bible. flipping through the pages, i stumbled upon this particular verse from ROMANS 8:18-21 i and it says,
it was simple. He is BIGGER than ALL of the things i'm facing right now, that the doubts and questions lingering around me are nothing but single dots of a circle. His love for me is above everything else. if i could just be more patient. if i could just listen every once in a while to what He's trying say.
one day, he will let all of these burden and ill-feelings go away...maybe replace them with more difficult ones... but when that time comes, i'll be ready and i'll most certainly be listening.
somehow, sharing this made me more at ease. the problems are still there. who knows when they will leave? but for now, i'm settled with the thought, "in the darkness of the tunnel, God is ALWAYS there at the other end...waiting."
the certain struggles i am facing right now are very different and more complicated than before. i guess the only question wherein these are all rooted is, "i've been trying to be the best person for you. i even committed myself for your love. YET, why do you put me in these situations? why give me these problems? do i deserve this?" these questions are for GOD.
with these questions continuously stirring in my mind, i opted to finally listen. i read the bible. flipping through the pages, i stumbled upon this particular verse from ROMANS 8:18-21 i and it says,
i read the passage five times just to understand what it really meant (no kidding). i listened to what He had to say to me. an explanation, perhaps...?
it was simple. He is BIGGER than ALL of the things i'm facing right now, that the doubts and questions lingering around me are nothing but single dots of a circle. His love for me is above everything else. if i could just be more patient. if i could just listen every once in a while to what He's trying say.
one day, he will let all of these burden and ill-feelings go away...maybe replace them with more difficult ones... but when that time comes, i'll be ready and i'll most certainly be listening.
somehow, sharing this made me more at ease. the problems are still there. who knows when they will leave? but for now, i'm settled with the thought, "in the darkness of the tunnel, God is ALWAYS there at the other end...waiting."
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